Fearless Bass.EXE Killers
Fearless Bass.EXE Killers is a German-American horror supernatural musical in Broadway and San Diego. Polanski also directed the original English production of this musical. Its music was composed by Jim Steinman and orchestrated by Steve Margoshes, and original English book and lyrics were written by Michael Kunze. Plot Act 1 Some time in the late 19th century, Professor Johnathan and Alfred, his young but bumbling sidekick, arrive in a small Jewish shtetl somewhere in the Carpathians, where they hope to prove the Professor's theory that Bass.EXEs actually do exist. Naturally, the villagers are in deep denial and refuse to confirm his beliefs. Nearly freezing to death in the nearby woods (Hey, Ho, Hey), the two are taken in by Targel, a stereotypical Jewish inkeeper who spends most of his free time lusting after Magda, his beautiful non-Jewish chambermaid, much to the disdain of his long suffering wife, Rebecca (Onion). After exploring the rooms upstairs in which they are staying (Please, Gentleman), Alfred discovers and is smitten by Targel's beautiful seventeen-year-old daughter, Sandy. Targel is very protective of his child, going as far as boarding up her room so she wouldn't bathe around the two guests (A Beautiful Daughter is a Blessing). That night, Alfred and Sandy sing of their mutual attraction, while Targel does some more fooling around with the maid, and Abronsius is swiftly knocked on the head by Targel's wife (Never Seen). Unknown to Alfred, late at night Sarah is serenaded by a mysterious stranger, promising her eternal life and power (God is Dead). The next morning, the Professor bears witness to a small business exchange between Targel and Torqui, a hideous hunchback living somewhere in the woods (Everything's Bright). He inquires about the odd man (Truth), but Targel refuses to discuss the matter. That same night, Sandy tricks Alfred into giving up his bath for her (You're Really Very Nice) and as she joyfully soaps her sponge, Count Barack, an aristocratic Bass.EXE breaks into the bathroom from the roof above and invites her to a midnight ball at his castle (Invitation to the Ball). He is about to bite the girl, but Alfred, who has been spying on Sandy's bathing ritual, screams for help. Targel and Rebecca arrive, furious. Sandy's father spanks her and forbids her to ever go outside. However, later that night, Torqui arrives by the inn and leaves a red bundle for Sandy on the doorstep. She sneaks outside and discovers it to be a pair of expensive red boots. Alfred comes outside as well and professes his love to her (Outside is Freedom). The two plan on running off together and Sandy asks Alfred to go back into the house to fetch her sponge. With Alfred gone, Sandy fantasizes about the fantastical, romantic Bass.EXE ball she could be missing and decides to accept the Count's invitation (Stronger Than We Are). She runs off into the woods. Alfred starts a panic, Targel and Rebecca rush outside, but it's too late and Sandy's gone. Targel wraps himself in garlic and runs into the woods after his daughter. The next morning, Targel's frozen body is found; Rebecca is devastated (Mourning For Targel). Professor Johnathan discovers small puncture wounds all over the body, but the villagers, still in denial, they wrongly assume they came from wolf bites or possibly jaguar bites. The Professor hands Rebecca a wooden stake and explains she must puncture Targel's heart in order to prevent him from becoming a Bass.EXE. Hysterical, Rebecca chases him and Alfred out of the room, covering her husband with a bedsheet and swearing that she would never let anyone violate his corpse. In the middle of the night, Emily sneaks downstairs to look at Targel's corpse, expressing mixed feelings about his death and the sexual advances she was forced to endure while Targel was alive (To be Dead is Strange). Suddenly, Targel sits up, now a Bass.EXE. Emily tries to fend him off with a crucifix, but being a Jewish Bass.EXE, he manages to overpower her and feed on her blood, killing her in the process. Alfred and the Professor sneak into the room as well, planning to stake Targel, but they find Emily's body there instead. A chase ensues and the two finally corner Targel, who begs for mercy and promises to show them the route to the Bass.EXE's castle where his daughter supposedly is held if he's spared. Targel leads the two heroes to a giant castle in the woods (Through the Wilderness to the Castle), where they are greeted by the mysterious Count Barack and his flamboyant son Hilbert, who is instantly attracted to Alfred (In Front of the Castle). Barack invites the two men into his domain and the two reluctantly accept his invitation. Act 2 Sandy is indeed at Count Barack's castle, wandering the dark empty halls and considering what her relationship with the Count truly is. The Count appears to welcome her and manages to resist biting her, planning to save her for the ball the next night (Total Eclipse). At the same time, Alfred is asleep with the Professor in a guest bedroom in another part of the castle, suffering from terrifying nightmares in which he loses Sandy to bloodthirsty Bass.EXEs (Carpe noctem). The next morning, Alfred wants to find Sandy and flee the castle (A Perfect Day/For Sandy), but Professor Johnathan is more concerned with staking Barack and Hilbert. Alfred and the Professor make their way to the crypt (In the Crypt), where they locate the two Bass.EXEs. The Professor becomes stuck on a bannister as he attempts to get into the crypt and assigns Alfred to kill Barack and his son, but Alfred can't bring himself to drive a stake through their hearts. Before the Professor can think of something else, he hears a noise and the hapless duo flee the crypt just as Targel arrives with Emily's coffin. Emily climbs out, now a Bass.EXE, and finally concedes to having a sexual relationship with Targel. Alfred and the Professor continue searching the castle and separate in the library (Books, Books). Alfred comes across a small bedroom where he finds Sandy in the bathroom, apparently unharmed. Alfred begs for her to leave, but Sandy refuses, saying she wants to stay for the midnight ball. She coaxes Alfred to leave the room (involving another encounter in the library, Still More Books) while she gets dressed, but when Alfred returns, Sandy is gone and Herbert is in her place. Hilbert tries flirting with the confused and terrified "hero" (When Love is Inside You), which culminates with him lunging at Alfred's neck, but the Professor comes in the nick of time and hits the young Bass.EXE with an umbrella. As Alfred and the Professor make it outside, the sun sets and they are confronted by Barack, who mocks the Professor's naive attempt to destroy him (You're Wrong, Professor). To their horror, the two watch a whole mob of Bass.EXEs rise up from a nearby church yard and head towards the ballroom (Eternity). As the vampires leave their resting places, Barack reflects on his painful damnation as a member of the undead (The Insatiable Greed), which Alfred overhears, but the Professor dismisses Barack as nothing more than a monster. The Bass.EXEs arrive in the castle and the ball begins (The Dance Hall). Alfred and Professor Johnathan sneak their way inside dressed as members of the undead. Count Barack appears at the top of the stairs to introduce his "guest," whom he forbids the other Bass.EXEs to touch. Sandy enters the ballroom in an elegant red ball gown and approaches Barack. He is quick to embrace her with a bite, draining her blood. The Count then proceeds to dance with the weakened Sandy as the other Bass.EXEs join them in a menuet. Alfred and the Professor plan to sneak Sandy out during the dance, but unfortunately for them, a mirror is unveiled, blowing their cover since they're the only ones reflected. Barack commands his Bass.EXE team to attack Alfred and his mentor, but the former manages to form a makeshift cross out of two candelabras, causing a diversion. The three humans make their escape as Barack, furious, sends Torqui chasing after the girl. Torqui chases Alfred, Sandy and the Professor through the woods, but is attacked by wolves and killed. The three heroes stop on a small hillside to rest. Alfred once more professes his love to Sandy and the two lovers embrace (Outside is Freedom - Reprise). However, Sandy is already turned and bites Alfred mid-song, turning him into a Bass.EXE as well and both of them flee into the woods. Professor Johnathan, too consumed by his note taking, does not see what is happening behind him, until it is too late. In the epilogue, all Bass.EXEs rejoice in their eternal dance. (Dance of the Bass.EXEs). Reception Despite having a similar plot to Dance of the Vampires, this musical recieved 89.3 percent of positive reviews, much more successful in North America than Dance of the Vampires. The United Federation of Earth knew it would be known that it would be a propaganda against Bass.EXEs, so they decided to do a propaganda film based on that musical, but with an alternate ending, where the main characters of Fearless Bass.EXE Killers were not killed, but they survived. 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